Kids Activites - have we gone too far?

Growing up, the four of us kids we were never involved in what were affectionately called "extra-curricular" activities. If the school wasn't doing it....neither were we! Despite the fact we've all turned into fine, contributing grown-ups, I admit, I often felt gypped growing up that my friends did figure skating, or gymnastics or soccer or, or, or - and I didn't get a chance. I vowed that "when I have kids......." of course, they'd be in every activity they could ever desire.

Quiet BFF moment after the show

Now that my kids are growing - Josh is almost 10 and Bailey is almost 6 - I've certainly had my share of fun trying to live up to my promise. Since Josh was old enough to be registered in an activity, I've had him in one....or two or
three....year round. I have done this believing I was actually a better mother for it and him, a better person. 

But now I'm starting to ask myself “is he really a better person for it?” and “what skills is he learning?” from this cycle? 

Here's the thing:  we are usually busy heading to one activity or another about 4 or 5 nights a week. I’ve tried to pick activities that gave them an opportunity to try something new each time (only Dance and Swimming have consistently been on our calendar for both kids).  I’ve also tried to be as involved in them myself as I can (Stage Mom, Sparks Leader, etc) to make sure they don’t lose out on our connection in the process. But now, we’ve reached the month of August, and we are almost entirely "off" until swimming and Dance can start again in September. 

Whoa! Is it me or did I forget to register them in something?

Am I the only parent who practically goes into panic mode when I've left my kids to fend for themselves to find something to do? And how did I, that kid who had to find something to do every day and was never bored..... end up like this?

So, it's got me thinking about whether I'm doing more harm or good by putting them in all these activities and what life skills are we actually teaching them. What message am I sending silently that they’ll take into adulthood. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I can think of some on both side of that road.  Remember, I’m a "focus on the positive" kind of person though.

The good messages and skills are: how to schedule and follow it, how to be accountable to yourself and others, how to socialize, physical coordination, persistence and sometimes even patience....in a word:

 Fantastic!

Being a kid!  (ick!)

But, as with everything, moderation is the key. Kids need time to be KIDS. They need time to explore and get dirty to understand their environment and their place in it. They need space to laugh and argue with their friends to learn how to resolve disagreements. In short, they need the chance to learn life skills that will give them a head start as an adult. I often hear myself saying about my daughter: “that’s a really unattractive quality in a 5 year old, but wait till she’s all grown up, it will serve her very well!”  

The end result, I’ve discovered is this: when choosing activities for our kids, we have to consider the real value it’s offering us in the long run. We have to consider the balance we create for our kids – the balance between home fun, and activity fun; group activities,  versus solo pursuits; intellectual versus physical and so on – and always make sure there’s an element of creative fun. 

Creativity is the most important skill we have as human beings and it’s often the first one we beat out of ourselves thinking it has no value! Keeping kids in creative activities teaches them great life skills, including two of the most important: flexibility and problem-solving. If more adults were able to seek creative solutions to personal and world issues and be a little more flexible about implementing those solutions….The world truly would be a happier place, don't you think?

Until next time:  Inspire...imagine...invent!